Phoenix: Live Love Laugh

Things I Wish I Knew Before 2024

“Living with Mild Cognitive Impairment, face blindness, and functional depression hasn’t been easy. But through faith, survival strategies, and resilience, God is turning my bitter season into lemonade.”

For years, I lived with questions about my mind and emotions, never fully understanding why I struggled in ways others didn’t. It wasn’t until I finally received the medical diagnosis—Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) from a stroke caused by a Sickle Cell Crisis—that things began to make sense. Yet even then, no one explained what that damage meant for my daily life. All I was told was, “the damage is done.”

But God has a way of taking bitter seasons and turning them into blessings. What once felt like a weakness, I am now learning to embrace with faith, survival strategies, and resilience.

Living with Mild Cognitive Impairment and Prosopagnosia (Face Blindness)

Looking back over the last 10 years, I realize many of my struggles were not just “in my head.”When I worked as a substitute teacher, I had the degrees, the experience, and the administrative skills—but I quietly battled issues others couldn’t see:

• Difficulty reading and recognizing words.
• Extremely short-term memory problems.
• Prosopagnosia (face blindness): I couldn’t recognize my own students by face.

At recess, I couldn’t remember which kids belonged to my class. My survival strategy was to identify one child with a unique feature—maybe a hairstyle, color, or facial detail—and call on them. That way, the rest of the class would follow. It was exhausting but necessary.

What is Face Blindness (Prosopagnosia)?

Face blindness is a neurological condition where individuals struggle to recognize faces—even of friends, family, or sometimes themselves. It’s not about vision or memory—it’s about the brain’s ability to process faces.

Common symptoms include:

• Struggling to recognize familiar people.
• Relying on cues like voice, hairstyle, or clothing.
• Difficulty reading facial expressions.
• Awkward or confusing social encounters.

Causes may include:

• Stroke or brain injury.
• Genetic predisposition.
• Neurological conditions such as autism spectrum disorder.

Is there a cure?
Currently, there is no direct cure. But people learn coping strategies like focusing on voices, gaits, or other identifiers.

My Emotional Battle: High-Functioning Depression

After COVID, the thought of returning to a classroom felt overwhelming. I later took a temp office job, but even with 20+ years of administrative experience, I noticed something wasn’t right. My emotions swung from zero to 100 with no in-between.

I later discovered a new term: functional depression (also called high-functioning depression). It described me perfectly. Outwardly, I appeared strong—working, serving, surviving. But internally, I battled sadness, fatigue, and a constant lack of motivation.

What Does High-Functioning Depression Look Like?

• Hiding behind success: Keeping up with work and responsibilities while silently struggling.
• Persistent sadness and fatigue: Even simple tasks feel draining.
• Loss of joy: Hobbies and passions no longer feel fulfilling.
• Silent suffering: Smiling on the outside, while hurting inside.

Treatment and Support

Managing functional depression is possible with:

• Lifestyle changes: Exercise, rest, healthy diet.
• Therapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and other approaches.
• Medication: Antidepressants may be prescribed.
• Support networks: Sharing your truth with people who understand.

Faith in My Bitter Season

This journey hasn’t been easy. My struggles with MCI, face blindness, and functional depression could have broken me. But instead, they revealed my strength and God’s grace.I now see that God has been preparing me to share my story. My “bitter season” is being transformed into something sweet. Like lemons turning into lemonade, my pain is becoming purpose.

If you’re walking through a season like mine—whether it’s sickness, hidden struggles, or silent battles—know this: you are not alone, and your story isn’t over.

God is still working. I see you. I understand you.