Phoenix: Live Love Laugh

When Pain Becomes a Lifestyle

Pain—it’s not just physical. And it’s not just emotional.
Sometimes it’s both.
Sometimes, it’s all-consuming.
And unless you’ve lived it—you just can’t understand it.

A study once said that emotional pain lasts longer and is more deeply felt than physical pain.
Having endured both, I can now say with confidence:

That research is telling the truth.

Pain Is Personal: You Can’t Compare It

Here’s what I’ve learned about P.A.I.N.:

✴️ Pain
✴️ Always
✴️ Isolates
✴️ Naturally

We isolate not because we want to—but because pain separates us from those who don’t understand it.

I’ve lived in constant physical pain for the last four years—no relief.
Before that, I was used to Sickle Cell crises, which are episodes of pain that last hours, sometimes days, as misshapen red blood cells block blood flow to my bones.

Back. Knees. Legs. Chest. Stomach.
It’s dull. Throbbing. Stabbing. Sharp.
But worst of all—it’s indescribable.

Only another Sickle Cell warrior will understand that level of pain.
Just like no one can explain childbirth to someone who’s never carried life.

Emotional Pain: The Hurt That Has No Cast

A few years ago, a friend was grieving a breakup. Her boyfriend had cheated, and I remember telling her something I knew from experience:

“It’s going to hurt more than anything you’ve ever felt. You’ll feel it in your chest. You’ll cry until your tears run dry. And then you’ll cry more just because crying feels like release.”

That’s emotional pain—grief you can’t bandage.
Heartbreak that doesn’t show up on X-rays.
A trauma no one prepares you for.

Physical Pain: Recovery With No Guarantees

Now let’s talk about the physical pain I’ve been through:

Over the past four years, I’ve had:

• ✅ Right shoulder replacement (successful)
• ✅ Left shoulder replacement (still recovering 7 months later)
• ✅ Hip replacement (most challenging of them all)

You’d think similar surgeries would have similar outcomes.
But nope—same body, different story.

No Google search or YouTube prep video truly readied me for what I’d experience. Especially with the hip replacement. Everyone talks about recovery in weeks. No one tells you what forever looks like.

The Un-Googled Truth About Hip Replacement

Here’s what they don’t tell you loud enough:

🛑 No bending or lifting your hip over 90°
🛑 No crossing legs, driving, or showering freely
🛑 No soaking, no swimming
🛑 Compression stockings (if you can tolerate the swelling)
🛑 Blood thinners
🛑 Raised toilet seat required
🛑 Pillow between legs for sleep
🛑 A walker, then a cane
🛑 Home health care is mandatory, not optional

And most important:

You’ll need antibiotics before every dental procedure for the rest of your life.
Oh—and air travel might become complicated due to TSA and metal implants.

Pain Is Harder Alone

Let me say this clearly:

If you live alone, you need support.

For me, my son has been everything.
He helps with:

• Socks, shoes, and anything “below the waist”
• Getting dressed
• Cooking when I can’t stand
• Simply helping me feel human

Pain makes basic tasks impossible.
And if you don’t have a village, even brushing your teeth can feel like climbing Everest.

The Double Battle: Life After Coma + Sickle Cell Disease

Everything I just described?
I’ve endured it on top of recovering from a coma, with brain damage, and living with a chronic disease that affects every single part of my body.

Some days, the pain is physical.
Some days, it’s emotional.
And some days—it’s both. All at once.

But every day, I get up.
And that counts for something.

Final Words: You Can’t Prepare for Pain, But You Can Own Your Story

If you’re going through pain—physical or emotional—please hear this:

You are not weak.
You are not crazy.
You are not alone.

Pain is a part of the story, but it’s not the end of it.
Your survival is proof of your strength.

✨ Reflect & Relate:

• Have you experienced pain no one could understand?
• What helped you feel seen or heard during your hardest recovery?
• What advice would you give to someone preparing for surgery—or heartbreak?

#LifeAfterComa #SickleCellWarrior #ChronicPainTruth #SurgeryRecoveryJourney #EmotionalVsPhysicalPain #PAINBlog #HealingIsMessy #DisabilityAwareness

💭 Final Thought

Whether you’re healing from surgery, heartbreak, or the weight of years lived in survival mode, know this:

You are more than your diagnosis, your scar, or your bad day.

Keep going—slowly, gently, bravely.