Phoenix: Live Love Laugh

I first read this poem in my 30s, back when love still felt like a puzzle I was trying to figure out—one piece at a time. It made me think, reflect, hope. But now, in my 50s, with everything life has thrown at me—stroke, coma, heartbreak, rebirth—the words hit differently.

Back then, I was searching for someone to add to my life.
Now? I’m healing, rebuilding, and protecting the peace I’ve worked so hard to find.

So when I ask “Do you qualify?”, it’s no longer just about romance.
It’s about energy, intention, alignment.
It’s about whether your presence matches the depth of this chapter.

I may still be in the same body and skin, but my spirit has evolved.
My needs, my standards, my expectations—they’ve all been reshaped by pain, by growth, and by grace.

So today, I share this poem again—not as the woman I was, but as the woman I’ve become.

And to anyone wondering if they fit into my story now, there’s only one question left to ask:

Do You Qualify?

(A Grown Woman’s Reflection on Love)

Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you recognize what’s right in front of you—what you need to see?
Will you understand that I’m a good woman,
And that in my life, I need a good man?
Do you qualify?

Can you fulfill—just as I can—both of our needs?
Can you check me with love when I’m slipping?
Can we talk wholeheartedly, not constantly tripping?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called mine—fully and truly?
Can you leave the other women and temptations behind, absolutely?
Can you bring me your problems before it’s too late?
Can you stand in truth, even when you make a mistake?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be the honest, loving man I need?
Can you look into my eyes and speak your truth without speed?
Can you hold me all night, make love with intention and soul?
Can you be sensitive and strong—balanced and whole?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be both my friend and my lover?
Can you place our love above any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds and Gold?
Make me feel like I’m the last woman you’ll ever hold?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called a good man—truly?
If I have doubts, can you reassure me, not undo me?
Can your love intoxicate me like the sweetest high?
To stand beside me in life—I need to know:

Do you qualify?

The Brother’s Response

(A Grown Man’s Answer to Her Question)

You ask, do I qualify?
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me to be?
But sister, let me ask—
Are you ready for what you’ve asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?

Can you accept that by God’s design,
I am the chosen one—the leader, the protector, the head?
Will you follow my path in trust and faith,
Or will we fight for control instead?

If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your grace and your touch?
Or will I face neglect, loud tones, and critique,
While longing for peace I can’t seem to reach?

When I talk—will you really listen?
I mean, feel me deep, not just hear what you want?
Can I be the man at all times, even when it hurts,
Or only when it’s convenient and sweet?

Can you love me for me, not just who you wish I’d be?
Will you see the strong Black man within?
Or will I carry the weight of your past,
Paying for the sins of all those who came before me?

If I don’t send flowers the same day your coworker gets hers,
Will you still know I love you deeply?
Or will my name be grouped with “the rest of those men,”
When my love has always been freely and completely?

Will you teach me how to understand you?
Be patient while I grow to meet your needs?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, “What’s wrong?”
And hit me with, “A real man would already know.”

When we met, what caught your eye?
Was it my heart, my soul, or just my ride?
Do you love what I drive, or what’s driving me inside?

Yes—I can and will make love to you
From midnight to sunrise, no need to pretend.
But if I’m tired one night, will you believe me?
Or assume there’s another woman again?

Sister, I love you—my heart can be yours.
No woman could ever lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs—so I beg of you please,
In this love thing, meet me halfway.

In tough times, I’ll hold you.
In rough times, I’ll mold you.
Your smallest wish will be my command.
And if hell comes to your doorstep—
In your place, I’ll stand.

Love is a powerful institution,
Built only when two become one in truth.
So to answer your question…

Yes, Sister—I do qualify.