“How are you doing?” is a question we hear daily—but do people really care? Here’s a reflection on chronic illness, invisible struggles, and what that common question truly means for those living with lifelong conditions.
How Are You Doing?
It’s one of the most common greetings in the world.
Right after “Hello,” we say:
“How are you doing?”
But let’s be honest…
Do people really want the truth?
Or is it just something we’ve learned to say out of habit?
The expected reply?
- “I’m fine.”
- “I’m good.”
- “I’m doing well.”
But are we really?
When You’re Living With a Chronic Illness
For those of us living with chronic illnesses or genetic disorders, the real answer isn’t always that simple.
And yet, we often smile and say what’s expected—because telling the truth might feel too heavy for the moment.
The truth is, even people who aren’t chronically ill often aren’t “fine.”
But they say they are because society doesn’t make space for the real answers.
🧬 Understanding Genetic Disorders
Let’s take a quick look at single-gene disorders, which many people still don’t fully understand:
Single-gene disorders are caused by mutations in the DNA sequence of just one gene. That one gene may code for a protein that has an important job in the body—so when it’s missing or malfunctioning, the effects can be profound.
Examples of single-gene disorders:
- Sickle Cell Disease
- Cystic Fibrosis
- Fragile X Syndrome
- Huntington’s Disease
- Muscular Dystrophy
These aren’t things you catch.
They’re things you carry.
They live in your DNA—and in many cases, in every part of your life.
What About Chronic Illness?
Chronic illnesses are long-term health conditions that often don’t have a cure. They may fluctuate in severity, but they don’t just go away.
Examples of chronic illnesses include:
- Diabetes
- Lupus
- Arthritis
- Asthma
- Crohn’s Disease
- Multiple Sclerosis
- Sickle Cell Disease (yes, it’s both a genetic disorder and a chronic illness)
Living with a chronic illness means making daily decisions around pain, fatigue, doctor visits, medications, lifestyle adjustments—and yet still showing up to life as best as you can.
So, How Am I Doing?
Truthfully?
I’m doing the best I can.
Some days are better than others.
Some days my pain is invisible. Other days, it consumes me.
But through it all—I’m still here. I’m still fighting. I’m still showing up.
So the next time someone asks you, “How are you doing?”, maybe it’s okay to say:
“It’s complicated. But I’m pushing through.”
Or maybe… we ask the question differently.
- “How’s your spirit today?”
- “Anything heavy on your heart?”
- “Want to talk about it?”
Let’s create space for honest answers—because sometimes, that question can become the beginning of real connection and healing.
When “I’m Fine” Isn’t the Truth
Let’s be real.
Can someone living with any of the following conditions honestly say they’re fine every day?
- Alzheimer’s disease & dementia
- Arthritis
- Asthma
- Cancer
- COPD
- Crohn’s disease
- Cystic fibrosis
- Diabetes
- Epilepsy
- Heart disease
- HIV/AIDS
- Mood disorders (like bipolar disorder or depression)
- Multiple sclerosis
- Parkinson’s disease
The truth is—“fine” can be a mask.
These conditions don’t take days off.
They don’t care if you have a big meeting, a family event, or a holiday.
Some days you smile through it.
Other days you cry through it.
But every day… you survive through it.
From Now On, I’m Blessed
That’s why I’m changing my answer.
The next time someone asks me, “How are you doing?”
My response will be:
“I’m blessed.”
Because I’ve lived enough life—and endured enough pain—to know that if I can respond, breathe, walk, speak, and live another day,
I am blessed.
It’s not about feeling good every day.
It’s about knowing that God’s grace covers every kind of day—good, bad, painful, joyful, confusing, or quiet.
🎵 Let Me Leave You With This…
As Charlie Wilson sings in his song:
“Ask me how I’m doing, I’m blessed, yes
Living every moment, no regrets
Smile up on my face, I’m like oh yes
I’m blessed, yes. I’m blessed, yes.”
That’s my truth now.
I’m not fine—I’m blessed.
And sometimes, that’s the most honest answer I can give.
Phoenix: Live Love Laugh 
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