2020 Decade · Faith · Life after a coma · Sickle Cell Disease · Spiritual, devotion

Faith over Fear

GOD can we uninstall 2020, it has a virus. Can we get a new version. I haven’t written in a while, first I was healing from my Hip Replacement Surgery in December 2019 (4 months post op I am still healing with little pain). Just when I was feeling just a tad bit of normalcy here comes the COVID-19 pandemic. I think even in the early stages I was really doing well emotionally, cause after all I was used to being in the house or being in the bed. I picked up my hobby of planning, that brought me a spark of joy. For those who don’t know what Happy Planner is – there is an entire world of us out there who take immense please and planing our week on paper. Decorating our weeks, play, socialization, bucket list, journals or just because. Something I did as a Teenager into well into my Twenties I think back then it was just me writing out my day as it went by. In 2016 I found out a new way to do it with stickers and fun Planner books with motivations and design. So what joy I had finally trying to rekindle a love I once had in a more exciting way. I enjoyed TikTok, catching up on a few movies – series (Black list 6 seasons has kept kept me busy at nights). I stayed off social media and news (too draining). I think I will make a list of my Netflix and TV series I have been bringing on.

Until ……Quarantine for me was made simple until last week ANXIETY hit me like a ton of bricks. My lease is up next week and even with it all I was planning on moving – something I hate but life after a coma has really really tested my Faith. 3 major surgeries, living in 3 different states… no where to turn… no one to rescue me… all in 6 years. It has been said that no one is going to rescue you but yourself and I am here as living proof to tell you it is true. Yes, we all have family and Friends but let’s face reality they can do but so much for you, for so long (basically short term until they have to tend to their needs and their families).

Moving itself present anxiety but with social distancing how can I pay for movers to come into my home to help? How can I communicate what I need? If anything I have learned texting and sometimes phone communication can be very misleading. I need mask to go outside, I feel like I am shooting an episode of bird-box (haven’t seen it go check it out on Netflix) I have underlining conditions so I feel if I step out my door I will catch this virus.

Finding a place to live, no one is doing any tours … it is more difficult moving from one state to another. Deposits needs to be in person, it’s really been a nightmare. Finally got one place that had something available for my time-frame and will take an initial deposit on line, lease signed on line but final payment has to be made in person, picking up the keys and sealing the deal. Now ending everything in one state on beginning everything in another, getting a moving company, going into a bank and getting money orders. Haven’t been able to go to my doctor’s appointments it’s all been over the phone. I have been a wreck with anxiety…. I cut off contact with a little with the world and drowned myself in my anxiety, my tears and my life. Then I remembered a serve a Risen GOD and he did not create me to worry, have anxiety or fear: Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your GOD. I will strengthen you, yes I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” John 14:1 “let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me”

Why We Worry 

If worrying was a professional sport, many of us would be the Most Valuable Player on our team. Can you identify with this? It’s so hard not to worry when troubles loom all around us.

The word worry has a few definitions in the dictionary. The one we’ll refer to in this Plan is to torment oneself with cares and anxieties. Every time we worry, we’re tormenting ourselves. No one else is making us do it or doing it to us—we’re doing it to ourselves. 

When we worry, we’re allowing our minds to dwell on difficult circumstances, overwhelming fears, and other stresses that are weighing us down. We’re consumed over actual things we’re facing or potential situations that may never occur. Worry causes extreme distress to all areas of our bodies. It prevents us from sleeping, impacts our relationships, affects our appetites, and causes us to perform poorly at work. 

We tend to worry about what matters the most to us. It is also the place where we tend to trust God the least. When we have an extra amount of pressure put on us, we’re under stress. We worry about things we’re stressed about. Something we’re facing at work or home, with a friend or family member, or a fear that has overtaken us that we can’t seem to overcome affects us. And when we are stressed, we look for ways to cope. Some choose denial and others choose substances. Many choose worrying as their coping mechanism. 

Imagine that worry is a fire. The more we allow worry to occupy our thoughts, the more fuel we are putting on the “worry” fire. The more we do this, the bigger the worry fire we’ll have to put out later. Most of our worry is directed toward things that might happen. The truth is that if you’re worrying about it, it’s dictating your life. It does nothing but make the problem bigger. 

What if we didn’t worry at all? How much extra time in the day would we have to devote to things that are positive and actually make a difference? The return on our investment would be unbelievable! We have a certain amount of mental and emotional energy each day, and we mustn’t give worry any of it. 

Over the next few days of this Plan, we’ll learn about what Jesus said about worry, how we can stop this toxic cycle, and how to never let it have it’s way in our lives again. 

Reflect

  • Would you consider yourself to be a person who worries? On an average day, how often do you dwell on things that you have no control over?
  • Ask God to reveal His truth to you over the next few days in regard to worry.

In the beginning of 2020 I set out to make it one of my best year in the last 6 years… and I intend to reclaim this no matter what this pandemic brings – God is being better for me. I will be back trying to write my thoughts again.

Live Love Laugh Learn

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