Soooo who is excited it’s October and fall? ME! ME! ME!
Fall has always been my favorite time of the year in America. I love the changing of the leaves, the colors, the fresh crisp air. This year I am now adding a new love to October and here is why. September was the year I ended up in a coma from Sickle Cell, and guess what, September is Sickle cell awareness month. Six years I suffered and had pain to this disease. See, I have suffered with first the coma followed by both shoulders needing a replacement, and then a hip replacement.
For the first time in 6 years my body was pain free, but my mind was not. Once September began (to be exact September 9), I started feeling sad, un-motivated, I was depressed. I was sensitive, mentally I was all over the place. I was unhappy, grateful but unhappy. I wasn’t angry at any one or thing. I wanted to clean but couldn’t, I wanted to write but had no words. I wanted to create things for my Esty shop but wasn’t motivated. I just wanted to lay in bed and watch television. I didn’t care what was going on in the world if I was left alone. I cried for simple stuff. I was wreck. My sisters prayed with me. I prayed for me. I didn’t know what was going on. everything was going right but I couldn’t feel it. I had a job, my son had a job (which was a HUGH celebration because at 29 years old this was his first job), I was stable, I went from losing everything sleeping on an air mattress to gaining everything God promised me. Until…. my cousin called me to just check in and I told her how I was feeling to which she said, “your body remembers the trauma it went through in the coma.” I responded but I don’t remember the coma, she said, “You don’t but the body does, and the body never forgets” Actually she was reading a book which explained it all. “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” So here I am suffering from PTSD and didn’t even know it. My body has been keeping score for 6 years. Who I did know was GOD. I knew if he brought me this far, he would help me get through the month of September.
And he has, it’s October and October is the month I was beginning to come out of the coma. Although not quiet alert but my responses were far better than it had been. Pictures shows my eye opening even though still no one was home (lol) but there it was a sign that I had made it through the worse or the worse. The rehabilitation was just beginning. So yessss October that’s my new New Year.
My mental health has been severely impacted by my trauma and going forward I am seeking therapy. I need help dealing with my entire coma trauma, my traumatic brain injury. I need to figure out how I am going deal with this trauma during the month of September.
I had TIA, but so many that my brain looked like an explosion of blood. BUT GOD! I made a miraculous recovery. When prayers go up blessings come down, in my case I woke up.
Live Love Laugh Learn – Hope everyone is doing okay and taking care of themselves.