As my surgery (go back a few post) Left Shoulder replacement surgery due to AVN – Avascular Necrosis from Sickle Cell. get closer I am not sure why I am filled with anxiety and fear. Usually I face all surgeries in the eye and go in ready to fight. Maybe I am tired of fighting, maybe sickle cell is wearing me down, maybe the Devil is a liar and so is fear. After all I made it through a coma and a my life as a sickler, I made it through the right shoulder replacement so having the left should should not put fear in me.The song fear is a liar by Zach Williams has been in my head all day, also I am not alone by Kari Jobe which my friend sent to me yesterday. What a timely inspiration it was, that she knew nothing about my fear but needed to remind me by this song.
“When I walk through deep waters I know you will be with me. When I am standing in the fire I will not be over come. Through the valley of the shadow I will not fear. I am not alone.. you will go before me you will never leave me. In the midst of deep sorrow I see your light is breaking through. The dark of night will not overtake me. I am pressing into you. Lord, you fight my every battle and I will not fear. I am not alone, I am not alone, you will go before me, you will never leave me. You amaze me, you redeem me you call me as your own. you’re my strength, you’re my defender, You’re my refuge in the storm. Through these trails you’re always been faithful, you bring healing to my soul. I AM NOT ALONE, I AM NOT ALONE YOU WILL GO BEFORE ME YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME. – Kari Jobe
Lies fear have told me:
You are not strong enough – I can do ALL things through Christ who give me strength – Philippians 4:13
You’re not beautiful enough – God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them: Male and female he created them – Genesis 1:27. Yes I have some scares but they tell the story of when the devil tried to destroy me but I won.
You’ll forever be alone -“But Jesus often drew to the wilderness for prayer” Luke 5:16. I might be single now but God needs me to focus on him
You should be ashamed – ” Let us approach God’s throne of Grace with confidence, so we may receive mercy find grace to help us in our time of need” Hebrews 4:16
You’re not Loved – “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life”
You’ll never find a home – “In my father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you” John 14:2
You could be the one that grace could never change – His grace and mercy brought me through.