Phoenix: Live Love Laugh

Have You Ever Been So Unaware… It Was Dangerous?

Have you ever done something so risky—without even realizing it—until you stopped and really thought about it afterward?

Let me give you a common example.

Have you ever driven home—whether from work, church, or a friend’s house—and once you pull into your driveway, you suddenly realize you don’t remember the drive at all?

You recall getting into your car…
And poof, you’re home.
No red lights. No turns. No traffic memories. Just… there.

You sit in silence thinking,

“Wow, how did I make it home safely?”

It’s a sobering realization. That’s the moment when you start to analyze all the things that could have gone wrong—but somehow didn’t.

That has been my life for the past four years.

I Survived a Coma—But It Changed My Mind

You’ve read my story. I’ve blogged before about surviving a coma, and the mental impact of brain damage. I’ve written about the memory loss, the forgetfulness, the inability to multitask—like not remembering if I locked the door, or losing things constantly, or forgetting I left the stove on.

But one thing I hadn’t analyzed until recently?
My mental state while driving.

It didn’t hit me until I underwent cognitive testing. That’s when the doctors confirmed that I had mild cognitive effects from the brain hemorrhaging I suffered during my coma. That’s when the anxiety finally made sense.

And I realized:

I was blissfully unaware that I was driving in a fog of trauma.

Texas Roads & New Trauma Triggers

Maybe it’s just Texas highways. Or maybe it’s just me being more aware now. But since moving here a year and a half ago, I’ve developed EXTREME driving anxiety.

The kind that stops me from wanting to leave the house.
The kind that turns minor trips into overwhelming tasks.
The kind that has me on the brink of becoming a hermit.

And if that happens?

“I’ll take coma life for a million, Alex.” 😩

PTSD: I Didn’t Want to Accept It

My son mentioned it first—he said I might be dealing with PTSD from the coma.

I brushed it off.
Not me. I’m strong. I’m free-spirited. I’m a risk-taker.

But then my sister and I were having a conversation. She said her doctor told her that anxiety is often unresolved trauma. Something from childhood. Something unhealed. Something that just… lingers.

It hit me. Hard.

My son was right.

So I Looked It Up…

I’d heard people talk about anxiety. But I’d never claimed it for myself. I didn’t know what it felt like.
I’d moved many times before—never with panic. Never with fear.

But now? I had to know more.

Here’s what I found:

✳️ Ordinary anxiety is natural. It comes and goes. It may show up before a move, a test, or a change—but it doesn’t interfere with daily life.

✳️ Anxiety disorders, on the other hand, are chronic.
You feel fear all the time. It becomes intense. Debilitating.
It keeps you from doing things you once loved.

For me, that includes driving. Leaving the house. Being social.

And if left untreated?

Anxiety grows quietly until it overtakes everything.

The Silent Storm in So Many of Us

Did you know that anxiety disorders are the most common form of emotional disorder?
They affect people of all ages—but especially women.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

So if you’re reading this and you’re feeling overwhelmed, scared, or ashamed of how much anxiety has taken from you—you’re not alone.

I see you.
Because I am you.

Final Thoughts: Ignorance Isn’t Always Bliss

It’s easy to think, “If I don’t acknowledge it, it’s not real.”

But now I know:

✨ Ignorance may feel like bliss—but awareness is where healing begins.

I’m now on a journey to understand my triggers, unpack my trauma, and invite God into the parts of my mind I’ve tried to hide.

Because healing is possible.
Even when you’ve been through a coma.
Even when you’re afraid to drive.
Even when anxiety has robbed you of your spark.

Digress… But Not Really

Let me backtrack for a moment.

Last summer, I started using CBD oil—originally for shoulder pain after my replacement surgery. But during my visit to the store, the salesperson asked why I was considering CBD. I casually mentioned anxiety, then (almost reflexively) opened up about my depression, coma, the isolation of moving to Texas, and the overall lack of a support system.

I was carrying a lot.

And though I wasn’t sure what I expected, the CBD oil helped.
The pain wasn’t as sharp.
The anxiety was still there—but I felt a bit more relaxed.
I didn’t feel as down.
I could leave the house, even if just for short periods.
And most of all—the depression lifted.

Two Uninvited Guests: Anxiety & Depression

Before all this, I had never really dealt with clinical anxiety or depression. I had heard about them, yes. I had seen others struggle, yes. But me? Never.

Then, suddenly, they both showed up, uninvited and unannounced—refusing to leave.

I can’t live with anxiety. I won’t.

So I made a new 2020 goal:
To move out of this traffic-triggering state and reclaim my life.
To salvage my joy, my freedom, and my peace.

I even took a bold step and became an ambassador for a CBD wellness company. I now have my own CBD website—because if it helped me, I know there are others out there who need it too.

When Driving Was My Freedom

Before Texas, back on the East Coast, I was a highway queen.
I didn’t fear sky-high bridges, merging traffic, or endless lanes. I roamed confidently across the super highways—free-spirited and fearless.

But looking back…
I now wonder how many times something could have gone wrong.
How many “blissfully unaware” moments I had behind the wheel.

But God…
Thank You, Lord, that nothing ever did.
No accidents. No major mishaps. Just grace.

Moving Forward: One Mile, One Mindset at a Time

I still believe God has me here in Texas for a reason, but maybe not forever.
And while I continue to heal mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I’ll keep:

• Praying
• Journaling
• Using CBD as a tool
• And telling my story

Because awareness is where healing begins.
And faith is where restoration lives.

💬 Let’s Reflect:

• Have you ever underestimated the emotional weight you were carrying?
• Could anxiety or depression be showing up in ways you didn’t recognize?
• What natural or faith-based steps are helping you find balance again?

#IgnoranceWasBliss #AnxietyAndFaith #CBDHealingJourney #BrainRecovery #PostComaAnxiety #HealingInTexas #ChristianMentalHealth #FaithAndCBD

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